


The Incident

by EggBatRobin20



Series: Hylia, Goddess of Chaos [2]
Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, No Beta, This is entirely Ranger's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23375077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggBatRobin20/pseuds/EggBatRobin20
Summary: I have no words. They were all used up writing this monstrosity
Series: Hylia, Goddess of Chaos [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681186
Comments: 1
Kudos: 59





	The Incident

“Who let this happen.” 

Time stood with his arms crossed, glaring the boys before him. The one eye always somehow made his stare so much ore intense, and they all shrunk under the force of it. 

Warriors stepped forward, and they all held their breathe in wide eyed fear.

“Its my fault. I know how rash my sister is, and I still let the girls rush off on their own. I take all the blame,” He stood at attention, a good soldier ready to face his failure. Time’s cool stare didn’t budge.

“Wait no!” Wild jumped forward, flinching under Time’s attention. “I was the one who told her about it, I knew she would rush off, and I let myself get distracted, and then she was gone, and I’m sorry, I should’ve been guarding her, and I didn’t mean to but its my fault and-”

“It’s Twilight’s fault.” Despite the collective gasp Legend remained completely unrepentant, looking Time evenly in the eye. “He was with her the whole time and did nothing to stop it. He’s definitely one hundred percent to blame here, don’t listen to the self-sacrificing idiot team.” Legend crossed his arms, effectively ending his testimony, ignoring the other’s side eyes.

Time looked each one of them in the eye, before sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well Twilight. What do you have to say for yourself?” Time turned, facing his protege, as well as the . . issue at hand.

Twilight finally gave the group his attention, pulling away from the scene.

“I would sincerely like to see y’all do better. Frankly, I don’t know what the problem is.”

An observer, might note that, at this point, the eldest hero had developed a twitch in his eye.

“The problem,” said hero began, “is that this situation is in no way sustainable. We’re on a very serious and dangerous quest, we never know where we’ll end up next, or when a hoard of monsters will attack, and we certainly,” Time was near actually raising his voice at this point, “do NOT. Have the room, time or resources to keep a Hylia damned PEACOCK!”

Silence reigned, briefly, and then-

“WUUAAAWK! EEEHH! EEEHH! EEEEEH!”

The “issue” was this: Hylia, had made a friend. Twilight, had been with her when Linkle- and it was still odd to think Warriors had a twin; how did that work with the hero’s spirit?- had bounded up and asked if they wanted to see a something even cooler than a cucco. Now, had he been more familiar with his friend’s sister, he might have been more wary. Or not. He did love animals, even the ones that frightened him, like cuccos. The point being, that one might have considered what exactly she might find more interesting than a cucco. 

The answer, was, naturally, the biggest peacock Twilight had ever seen. Not that he’d seen many, but there were a few in the castle gardens, that were terrible gossips when he was in wolf form. This one however, was significantly larger than those. Hylia’s size, or lack thereof, was made very obvious next the over sized fowl. A giant, white peacock. Because of course it was white. Really, what happened next was truly an inevitability, a design of fate. 

They were supposed to keep there distance, as Linkle warned them of the disturbing level of aggression the Peacock had displayed, and they did! But, the bird had other plans. It waltzed right up to where they sat at the edge of the wood, and plopped itself in Hylia’s lap. 

She had thrown her arms around the massive bird, and looked Twilight straight in the eye, declaring, “I love him, and I’m keeping him.” 

Their fate was sealed. 

Now, Time stood, attempting to wrangle some sense into the situation, while the others looked on but Twilight knew it was futile. Hylia made ordonian goats look compromising when she dug her heels in, and the peacock might actually be worse. 

“We can’t keep it.” Time was actually attempting to stare down the goddess who faced hatred incarnate. No one could ever call him a coward, but clearly he still had something to learn about picking battles.

“Archimedes has decided to accompany us, and quite frankly, I don’t see how you can stop him.” Hylia mirrored Time’s crossed arms. She was absolutely mocking him. The newly dubbed Archimedes found this hilarious, bugling happily.

“You..Named it.. what.” Time’s voice could not have been flatter. Archimedes also found this amusing.

“Archimedes Ranger Hyrule. The first. He’s quite intelligent, no need to be insulting.”

“. . .”

At this point, Twilight was certain his mentor had broke. The absurdity of the situation was too much. They were arguing with Hylia, white goddess of Hyrule and time itself, about whether or not she could bring a giant peacock named Archimedes, along on their mysterious quest through time.

That is A Lot.

Hylia, finally taking pity on the poor man, pranced up and squished Time’s face with her hands “Oh don’t be such a worrywart; He’s a giant, wild Peacock, he can take care of himself. He can hunt, he doesn’t need bedding, and he can easily keep pace with us. It certainly won’t trouble us; in fact, birds make wonderful guards, especially the larger fowl. Think of Archimedes as big breathing alarm.” she beamed, and well. Twilight didn’t see how anyone could refuse that smile.

Time closed his eye “I’m not winning this, am I.” 

Hylia giggled standing tiptoe and tugging his head down to place a kiss over his scar. “Absolutely not.” She pulled away, and faced the others, beckoning them closer to her and the bird.

“All right boys, come properly meet Archimedes; don’t crowd him now, he likes hugs but only on his terms. . .” The heroes were relieved and curious about their new companion. 

Twilight clasped Time’s shoulder. “He really is a decent beast.” he tried to reassure him.

Time eyed the group were Archimedes was allowing a hug from an enthusiastic Wind “We never stood a chance.”

“Not even a little bit.” They looked at each other and shared a chuckle, before joining the group.

All’s well that ends well. 

Though, this wasn’t even close to being the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Blame Ranger  
> Ranger is muse of chaos


End file.
